The future is an unknown place

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

That question has been asked to me multiple times during my interviews and finally yesterday I gave the man the most honest and perfect answer ever and here it is:

You know, I'm not entirely sure. If you would have asked me that 5 months ago I would have told you in an office building working at my desk going through the financials of a business and helping them keep their books perfectly. However, upon graduation and now 5 months to think about it, I don't know where I want to be. I have this degree and I don't know exactly how it is that I want to use it because no one will give me a chance to use it.

He looked at me for a minute and then he did the weirdest thing; he agreed. He said we put so much emphasis on going to college so that we can get better and improve our lives, but we also entrust the decision of what we want to do for the rest of forever with our still teenaged self. He had two degrees and is now working in a field that has nothing to do with them. Funny how that works out?

I'm not saying I am questioning the degree I obtained, I'm more reflecting on what it is I really see myself doing.

I've always heard to not plan out your life too much because it can change in an instant, and until just recently I never really believed that.


Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me? I just want to be happy.

Big girl world is busy

Being busy with big girl stuff has made me forget to take a breather and enjoy the little things in life. I've had weddings to attend, interviews to go on, and applications to send out. And with my alma mater starting back up with classes today, I've got nothing but reminders of how I'm no longer care free. This is where still living in a college town has it's down sides. You are constantly reminded of feeling old for being finished with school, but then also feeling like a loser for not having a job.

I went on an interview just yesterday, and I hope it works out. I interviewed with people who were maybe 6 years older than myself, so right then I knew I would feel better about working there. Something about working with people closer to my age just makes me more confident. The interview went okay, I know it could have gone better. And it certainly could have gone worse. In the next few days they will be making their decision and I will be finding out if I can finally say I am an employed college graduate or not. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that good news comes my way soon.

This weekend I have another wedding to attend. That's two weekends back to back. This one is for my 18 year old cousin. Yes, you read correctly 18. She just graduated high school in May. I'm going because it will be fun to hear all of the comments my aunt has to say about the wedding. She called me this week and told me she expects a wedding invitation within the next year. Let's slow down there ma'am, I don't need another timeline added to my life.

I have this feeling that if I just get a job my life will be better. And I'm sure it will. If I can just find a job to keep my busy and give me money so that I'm not constantly worried I will be great. I will feel like I have accomplished something and have proven all of my professors, who told me I wouldn't succeed, wrong. I just need that, for me.